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UoA

The award-winning 24hr interactive virtual super-highway-based information update service

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The biological entity known as Man-Mountain has finally proved to be unsustainable, scientists have announced. There was simply too much matter to contain safely, inside sources are admitting. This experiment in super-human existence has, to all intents and purposes, failed, and researchers are currently battling against the clock to contain the situation.

As a result, the entity will continue to exist only in cyber space. The virtual Man Mountain will be indistinguishable from the biological version unless you try to shake his hand, according to Prof Eschnul Fowel, the man in charge of the decommissioning operation. Essentially, we have reduced human existence to an on-line newsletter, Prof Fowel said. This is a far more efficient use of natural resources and, thus far, we have not been able to identify a single drawback.

Prof Fowel is 63.

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