In this issue of Adenews:
Note to readers: extensive research by our crack team of investigative journalists has revealed that there is NO OTHER news but the world cup. We thought for a moment that we might have heard something in Asia, but it seems we were mistaken as none of the other major news services have reported anything. Therefore, we have been forced to dedicate this entire issue of Adenews to a single story
World cup report
The world stood still for upwards of almost exactly nearly 90 minutes this week as, in a game of three halves and two quarters, a classic clincher unfolded in Japan. Scientists there have discovered that the world is not, as previously thought round, or more accurately spherical, it is, in actual fact, cup shaped.
The moon is not an orbiting satellite but forms the visible part of the handle, the remainder being black with little white spots on it so that it is indistinguishable from the rest of the night sky. Scientists now believe that countries like Australia are on the outside of the cup, while Britain in on the inside, finally explaining the vast differences in the levels of sunshine the two countries see.
"The moon is the give away," said Yaki Alfishwif, chief scientist at the Wolrd Shape Institute of Japan, "if you rook crosery, you can see two thin rines above and berow it. I cannot undelstan why no one notice this before."
Commenting for NASA, Dan G Rusassumption said: "This is a ridiculous claim. We've been to the moon. We would have noticed. Still it explains the large stock piles of tea leaves we found in Nevada."
Those top ten Liams (a proud day)
- Liam Ingagainstalampost
- The Thin Blue Liam
- Amazing Liam Beedextrus
- Liam Dancing
- Liam Taming
- Jan Liam Ing
- Liam Onmeringuepie
- Liam Upthegardenpath
- Hal Liam Bishus
- Mother Liam Brace (Sisters of the Strange Lamp)
Adenews school of languages
In a bid to engender a spirit of European information openness, Adenews launches its European language school. In each edition, we will translate a useful phrase or saying into a variety of European languages, and then back to English so that you can understand what you have just said...
English
My cat is fine, thank you for asking. His hair is a bit tangled, and he has a bad temper, but otherwise he flies high like a kite and smells of toast.
French
Mon chat est très bien, merci de demander. Ses cheveux sont un peu embrouillé, et il a un mauvais trempe, mais autrement il vole haut comme un cerf-volant et des odeurs de pain grillé.
German
Meine Katze ist fein, danke für das Bitten. Sein Haar ist eine verwirrte Spitze, und er hat einen schlechten Temper, aber anders fliegt er stark wie ein Drachen und Geruche des Toasts.
German version of the French
Meine Katze ist sehr gut, danke zu verlangen. Seine Haare werden ein wenig verwirrt, und er hat eine schlechte Härtung, aber andernfalls fliegt er hoch als ein Hirsch-Lenkrad und Gerüche geröstetes Brot.
English version of the German version of the French
My cat is very good, thanks to require. Its hair is entangled a little, and it has a bad hardening, but otherwise it soars than a deer steering wheel and smells roasted bread.
German version of the Italian version of the German version of the French
Meine Katze ist viel Bindung, dank Nachfrage. Das relati zu, welches Ihnen sind Hüte ein kleines zu Ihnen verwickeln und ein defektes Verhärten haben, aber gegenteilig gehen sie die ein kleines Rad der Richtung der roten deers hinauf und glauben dem odore des Toasts.
Italian version
Il mio gatto è benissimo, grazie per chiedere. I suoi capelli sono una punta aggrovigliata ed ha un temperamento difettoso, ma vola al contrario su come un cervo volante e gli odori di pane tostato.
English version of the Italian version of the German version (I think, I am losing the will to live now)
My cat is much bond, thanks to demand. The relati to you hats are entangle a small to you and have a defective hardening, but to the contrary they go up that a small wheel of direction of the red deers and feel the odore of the toast.
And from German back to English via Italian again.
My cat is much connection, owing to demand. Relati too, which you are hats a small to you entangle and defective hardening have, but contrarily they go believing the one small wheel of the direction of the red deers up and to that the odore of the toast.
