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The international pan global electron stimulated information update service brought to you by Informia (formerly Man Mountain MegaCorp). Issue 21
Following the recent outbreak of the Stupidity and Weirdness Virus which has been devastating our urban communities, AdeNews has been unable to publish because of Ministry of Information restrictions. The government has been employing a strict policy of culling publications in the vicinity of an outbreak of Stupidity and Weirdness which has seen the loss of over 2000 titles including Practical Boatowner, Womans Realm and Frogspawn Today. After a period of isolation, AdeNews was informed this week that it had entered the cull zone and was due for destruction. Fortunately, in an eleventh hour announcement, the Government has said that it will not kill off publications which are cute and cuddily, as this reflected badly on them. However, readers of this edition of Adenews should be aware that it has been within 3km of Stupidity and Weirdness and therefore there is a small but finite risk of passing on the virus. If you find yourself acting stupidly or in a weird manner, you should immediately douse yourself in MoI approved disinfectant, and refuse to let anyone near you for a period of four weeks.
An AdeParty spokesman admitted last night that the party was in disarray after finance spokesman Mr Michael Pantaloons refused to sign a bit of paper stating that he believed the party was electable. Mr William Vaguely, party leader said that he had signed the document on behalf of the whole party, and if Mr Pantaloons didn't want to sign it he couldn't make him, as he was quite big. The debacle will do little to scotch rumours of a leadership contest should the AdeParty lose the forthcoming election, and Mr Vaguely must now be worried that he took so seriously Mr Pantaloons' advice to wear a pair of underpants on his head during campaigning. The AdeParty is quite small: it will only field two candidates in the election and thus it is highly unlikely to unseat the labour government. Its extreme view on Europe (sinking the continent by throwing sausage meat at France by catapult) has won little favour with the electorate, and the growing impression of internal wrangling strengthens the position of the other parties.
An independent body set up to appoint ordinary members of the public to the House of Lords has named its first candidates. They are as follows:
Man Mountain Enterprises, the company which owns AdeNews is to change its name to more accurately reflect the service-orientated quality-based environment of the 21st century. From 21 May 2001, the company will be called Informia, although parts of the operation will continue to trade as Man Mountain Enterprises and Rippoffea. The new name was devised by highly esteemed London advertising agency Pink X9&8$$$, Boogly, Bungle and WHHPPPKKS together with a new brand image which looks suspiciously like a letter I with a little blue circle behind it. The cost of the new name and logo are estimated to be £92m. Speaking for Informia, Mr Gruf E Chicks, Proprietor, said, "Pink X9&8$$$ came up with the new name using a high technology computerised system. You feed in the words which best represent your company's activities and it adds the letters I and A to the end. I can exclusively reveal that executives from BT were using the system at the same time as us and they have the choice of three new names: Dotcomslumpia, Sackidirectia, and Justplainshitia."
Following the smash hit movie, Adenews is pleased to announce the collect-n-keep plastic models of the seven great Ades and their magical powers:
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